[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: My name is Nancy Farrow, also known as Mama Lu, and I'm the founder of Epic Experience.
Epic Experience mission is to empower adult cancer survivors and thrivers to live beyond cancer.
I hope that as you listen to campfires of Hope living beyond cancer, you find hope, healing, and empowerment.
Through stories and education, we aim to guide those impacted by cancer and more importantly, offer love and support to anyone out there who needs it.
This is beyond cancer.
[00:01:13] Speaker C: All right. Welcome to When Cancer hits Home, a series presented by Epic Experiences and Pickles Group, in which we explore what healing looks like for the entire family going through a cancer journey. Today, we have four. Four Pickles Group peer leaders who are going to share their story around the campfire.
I'm Kelsey Mora. I'm the chief clinical officer of Pickles Group, and I'm excited to speak with our incredible peer leaders at Pickles Group. So before we get started, I'd like each of you to just tell a little bit about yourself and your background and including one fun fact. So, Eliza, why don't we start with you?
[00:01:48] Speaker B: Hi, my name is eliza Smith. I'm 13 years old, and I'm an incoming 8th grader.
A little bit about me is when I was nine years old, when I was six years old, my dad was diagnosed with stage four glioblastoma, which is a rare form of brain cancer, and he died when I was nine years old. And Pickles has really helped me through a lot, and I'm a peer leader and a founder there. And a fun fact about me is that I play field hockey.
[00:02:17] Speaker A: Awesome.
[00:02:18] Speaker C: Well, I know we have one of your older brothers on the call, so why don't we go over to you. Beckett.
[00:02:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:26] Speaker D: Beckett Smith. I am 15 years old, and I'm a rising sophomore at New Trier High School.
Same as Eliza. My dad was diagnosed with brain cancer, and he passed away in late or early 2021.
Pickles has been huge help throughout the entire journey, and it's great to now be passing on that to many other people around the world.
One fun fact about me is that I love to fish.
[00:02:56] Speaker C: Well, I didn't know that about you. I just. I just went fishing this.
This summer, but we didn't catch anything, so I could use your. Your input, maybe.
How about you, Patrick?
[00:03:11] Speaker E: Hi, I'm Patrick. I'm 15 years old. I'm entering sophomore year at Northridge Prep.
When I was starting in sixth grade year, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He passed away last year.
And a fun fact about me is, although I am 15, I still play with Legos and I still build it and stuff.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: So yeah, I love that you're never.
[00:03:35] Speaker C: Too old for Legos. Everyone needs some Legos in their life. And last but not least, Molly, let's hear from you.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: Hi, my name is Molly agnew. I'm also 15 and I'm going into my junior year at new true high school.
And my dad was diagnosed with stage two oligodendroglioma, which is another rare form of brain cancer. And he underwent like surgery and some friends of chemo and it's currently stable but.
And one fun fact about me is that every year I go to Colorado with my entire extended family on my mom's side and we stay at this ranch that my grandparents co own with like a bunch of their friends and we just spend the week fishing, hiking, going on ATV rides and it's super fun. It's like favorite part of the whole summer.
[00:04:22] Speaker C: So yeah, awesome. That's really relevant for our listeners who are involved with epic experience since they do so much adventure with their families. So love that. Well, let's get started. I would love to hear something you wish more people understood about what it's like to have a parent with cancer. Does anyone feel ready to take that first question?
See you maybe thinking about it. Patrick or Molly, let's hear from you.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: I wish people understood like how much it kind of not only like how much it affects different kids in different ways. I know like me and my siblings all process like my dad's diagnosis and my dad's and still are processing my dad's kids journey in such different ways. I feel like kids can all be grouped together in this kind of experience together. But I also think it's such an individual, individual process of processing things and grieving and all that kind of stuff is very individual. And I wish more people knew how different everyone can process the same situation given the exact same circumstances.
[00:05:35] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a great point. Just how individual it is for everybody.
Yeah.
Eliza, so you're, you're the youngest on the call and obviously you were the youngest when your dad was diagnosed. Can you share a time when you remember feeling really brave, even if maybe it didn't look like it to other people?
[00:05:54] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. I think when I was younger, so I was only six when my dad got diagnosed. So I was in, I believe first or second grade.
So I was super little. I barely even knew what the word cancer meant at that point in my life.
And I think one of the things that was super hard for me at that Point was, like, going to school every day and, like, showing up and, like, I feel like when I would go to school and.
And, like, I knew that my dad was, like, in the hospital or getting treatment or getting a test or something. I think going to school or continuing with my, like, daily activities was always really hard for me. And I think that's something that not a lot of people, like, realize that it's really hard to, like, keep going on with your normal life, especially when you're, like, that little. And so I think it's like, that I felt really brave going to school and, like, putting on a brave face every day. And also, like, for my little sister, too. I felt like a lot of the time I had to, like, put on a brave face for my family as well. And I think that was a big part of, like, the journey, and that was, like, a part that felt like I was. Had to be really brave in those situations.
[00:07:05] Speaker C: Yeah. I love that, like, you were being brave all the time because you were holding this thing going on at home and trying to get through the regular day and modeling that for other people.
And I'm sure sometimes you didn't want to have to be brave. You wanted to just feel your feelings. But, yeah, it's. I'm sure a lot of listeners can relate to that balance of functioning and trying to just get through the. Every day and then also and navigating the stress and the worry of a parent or a family member with cancer.
Yeah.
Patrick, I know that you're the oldest of four, as is Molly, actually, but I'm curious to hear from you. I know you're often there for a lot of other people, and I want to hear maybe about someone or something that has made a difference for you throughout your experience with your dad.
[00:08:00] Speaker E: One thing I did enjoy was I was lucky.
My family was very open, and like, we. They talked. They helped throughout the years. It wasn't. This was a surprise. They helped prepare us for it, and I was grateful for that. But I was also very grateful that after he did pass, my friends were very supportive and they came out of their way and they would, like, comfort me and everything.
However, they never treated me differently, and I'm grateful that they.
Because a whole, like, a big issue is you feel like a part of your life will be always missing. You will never get that parent back.
However, you can't let that change who you are.
So I think it's important to kind of have that support while it's going on with friends and family, because if you bundle that in. If you suppress can change who you are, like, it can make you. Because now you're dealing with all the stress, all this issue of I'm gonna lose my parents forever. What will happen?
I'm the oldest. I'm the youngest. What's going on? I'm the only child, and that can cause you to, like, lash out. And I know when I, like, had an issue, I tried to. I went to my mom about it, and I was grateful she was there for me. She was willing to comfort me with whatever I needed. She would sit down, talk to me, explain it, and then I tried to do the same with my siblings.
So I guess it's being open with not just, like, your family members, which is crucial, but I think with, like, your friends.
So they kind of are aware what's going on, but also they know that, like, this isn't a sensitive, like, topic. Like, don't bring up his dad. Don't bring up his mom. Like, you're willing to express, like, oh, it's going well, or, oh, I had a great memory with him the other day, or, yeah, just kind of communication is key.
[00:10:13] Speaker C: Yeah. You touched on a lot of important things. It sounds like your friend and your family, but really, in order to allow them to be there for you in the way that you need it, it meant you being honest with them. Right. And, like, having. And then you felt really prepared for what to expect, that you appreciated your.
Your parents preparing you for what to expect so that it wasn't so surprising.
Yeah, that's really important. It's interesting. My. My next question was actually about, like, do you ever talk about cancer with non pickles friends? Like, we've created this organization to give a safe space for kids to talk about cancer with other kids who get it.
But I'm hearing from you, Patrick, that, like, you. You did talk. You do, and you did talk about it with your non pickles friends. Can anyone else relate to that, or what's that been like for you? Go ahead, Eliza.
I'll come to you next.
[00:11:02] Speaker B: Mila.
Yeah, So I have, like, talked to my non pickles friends and my pickles friends about cancer and about my dad's journey and things like that. And I think there's a big difference that's, like, really apparent to me, like, talking to my friends like that can relate and my friends that can't relate. And I think a lot of my friends who aren't pickles kids, they're great to talk to, but it's hard because sometimes they don't really get it. And it feels like they really don't understand what I'm going through a lot of times, versus when I'm like, talking to my siblings or other kids at Pickles who like, are going through similar situations, sometimes it's a lot easier because they can relate to me. It feels like I'm not the only person going through it because I think when my dad first got diagnosed, me and my siblings, we knew no other people and no other families whose parents had had cancer. And I think getting opened up to this community of kids like us had, like, in, like, made such a difference in my life and like, and I think in my siblings life as well.
And I think it was just. It was so nice to talk to people who got it. Like, and I think especially for kids who, like, our only childs or, like, sometimes it gets hard talking to my siblings about that kind of things. I think having friends and like, I've made so many, like, lifelong friendships from Pickles and like, we have such a deeper connection than some of me and my regular friends do because it's like, we can really connect over this because it's such a big part of my life. So. Yeah.
[00:12:35] Speaker C: Yeah. What would you like to add to that, Molly?
[00:12:39] Speaker A: That's pretty much all I was going to say. But again, I just wanted to, like, on the fact that, like, I do talk to my other friends about. About my dad's journey and I have the best support system and it's so great, but it's just really not the same. Like, it's just being able to have that different connection with someone else is just kind of. And have that outlet. My Pickles is just my outlet for this huge part of my life.
It's just been a huge help to me, especially when I was younger. I think now that I'm older and my friends and I are in high school, they kind of understand what cancer is, how my dad's journey can be different than other people's journey and how cancer varies. But when I was young, my dad was diagnosed. I was in fourth grade.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: I was nine, I think.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: And it was so hard for me to talk to my friends because my friends are like, well, I don't know, like, how they walked around eggshells around me, or they. And then they would tell me that, and it would be like this super awkward situation. And all I wanted to do in that moment was talk to someone who got it. And then, you know, after, like a year later, now being able to talk with people who really knew what. What it was like, was just such a breath of fresh air, especially in the heat of my dad's journey. It was just. It was just so helpful. And it's just. It's different. And it's like. It's. It's just. I don't know really how to describe it more than it's just, like, different. And I think that have it be sorry when it's. Having it be different from my, you know, core support.
My friends has been really special to me because I've gotten to volunteer such a hard thing and turned into some really beautiful friendships that I will let that last me.
[00:14:26] Speaker C: Yeah, that's so, so important. And I guess I have a new question, because you guys are making me think about, like, how would a friend know when you wanted to just be treated like normal and when you wanted to talk about it? Do you have anything that you might share about how you've helped your friends know what you've needed at different times or how you've navigated that?
Yeah, Molly, go ahead.
[00:14:49] Speaker A: I think that, again, going on what Patrick said, just being open with your friends, I know it's hard because everyone is so different in the way they process things and grief. And I think that, again, taking the step to be open with my friends has really helped me because if you don't tell them what they want, they're going to do what they think you want. And usually that doesn't it. Sometimes it doesn't align because I used to be super secretive about this part of my life, and they just didn't know. And so they would ask questions when I didn't want to have questions asked. And I think being open and honest with your friends is about how you like a friend to go about. Like, I really like.
I would rather my friends not bring it up and then. But if I bring it up, then I totally open to talking about it. But I'd rather, for me personally, it's not something that I would love to talk about all the time, just because it's a difficult part of my life, and I don't want to harp on a lot of the difficult stuff, even though I think it's very important.
But I think for me, being open and honest with my friends and taking that step, even though it was really hard, has really helped me out in the long run.
[00:16:04] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. Eliza, what did you want to add?
I'm trying to get Beckett back in, by the way. I think we're having a little bit of an issue, so. But I want to make sure he's here to Share as much as he can when he joins us, but want to hear from you right now.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I think adding on and Molly, I think it's so important to have, like, open communication and, like, honesty with my friends. And I think I've had conversations with my friends before about, like, I have told them what I would like in our relationship and our friendship, like, if I do want to talk about it or if I don't want to talk about it. And I think it's different with different people. And I think sometimes I'm in the mood where I would like to talk about it to friends and with, like, people. And I think definitely communicating your needs and your wants and also making sure that your friends are, like, okay with it too, because you never know. Like, your friends could have had a situation similar with maybe a grandparent or a family friend or something like that, and you don't know if it's a sensitive topic for them or if they don't want to talk about it or if it makes them, like, feel uncomfortable. And so I think definitely being, like, super open and, like, honest and, like, making sure that everyone feels, like, okay with that and, like, comfortable with talking about it if that's something that you want to do or not talking about it or, like, understanding if you want people to ask questions or if you don't or anything. And I think, yeah, 100. It's different for everyone, and, like, everyone copes differently. And, like, some people want to talk it more, talk about it more, and some people don't. So I think it just, like, depends. And. Yeah.
[00:17:42] Speaker C: Yeah. Again, open and honest communication. It sounds like, like, from. Whether it's from parent to child or child, a friend.
And that's so much of what we really live and breathe at Pickles Group, so. And. And you guys are speaking from the heart, but there's obviously a lot of reasons why that's so important. Yeah. Patrick, let's hear from you.
[00:18:02] Speaker E: I was gonna say, like, for me, I would. Before he would pass, every now and then, I'd bring up a story about something I did with him or some jokey or something he said.
So after he passed, the kind of. Eliminate the.
Because I didn't. I don't want my friends to think even bringing up dad or their dad or just dad in general was gonna be, like, sensitive for me. I tried to, like, weed in dad every now and then. Like, I used to make jokes about what he would say or story. So even after he would pass, I would continue doing that. So they kind of knew okay. It's okay for me to say this kind of stuff. It's okay for me to mention your dad or mention what did your dad do or something, instead of having them kind of walk on eggshells or feeling stressed.
[00:18:52] Speaker C: Yeah, that's such a good point. Just showing. Showing them. It sounds like that you're okay talking about your dad. Like, not even. You know, you can have an open and honest conversation and say, like, I just want to hang out today, or I want to talk about my dad, but also just talking about your dad, you know, it shows other kids that you're okay with it, whether it's a funny story or a memory or them sharing something about their dad. So that's. I love that.
It looks like we're getting Beckett back, so we'll definitely pull him into the. The conversation.
I want to hear from you all. Like, you're the experts in your experience, right? So what. What do you. What would you want other people to hear about?
Like, a piece of advice for going through this? Like, what would you say? Whether that's to a. To another teen or a kid or whether that's to a parent who's trying to figure it out with their own kids.
Beckett, are you with us? Do you feel.
[00:19:48] Speaker D: Yes, I'm back. Sorry about that. Everyone just had some.
[00:19:52] Speaker C: Was saying I kicked you out. I promise I didn't. I wanted you here, but we're glad you're still with us.
Your. Your friends and peers have gotten to share a lot. Do you. Do you want to take that one? Do you have any, like, advice you'd want to share with another kid going through something similar or even an adult who's trying to navigate it? As a parent.
[00:20:11] Speaker D: I think just going out there and finding people that you can really talk to, whether your situation is similar or exactly the same, anything. Anything like that just really helps to be able just to talk with someone or even not talk with them. Just be there and have a bonding friend where you know that they.
They deeply inside, do feel a good bit of what you feel, because there's not many people in the world that, like, are in similar situations as. As us affected by cancer.
So I think just putting yourself out there is one of the best things you could do.
[00:20:55] Speaker C: I love that. Like, making connections, Finding.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
Through this.
[00:21:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
That's great. Molly, did you have something you wanted to add?
[00:21:05] Speaker A: I was gonna say, like, the exact same thing. Kind of just kind of building your community, Building on is really, really helpful for me. I know like, when. Especially during COVID when it Was really hard to connect with people.
Cancer felt like the impact of my dad's cancer on my life was really isolating. And I think, like, finding your support system and really, my pickle support system really, really helped me get through that. Whether it's just being with each other or actually talking about it, like, it just being with. Being with people that, you know, you can lean on is just, like, kind of a relieving feeling, and being like. It's kind of just a breath of fresh air from, like, the heat of your home life when it's a really stressful piece of.
[00:21:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I love how you both said, like, just being right. Sometimes it's talking, sometimes it's not talking. Maybe it's doing Legos. Maybe it's doing an outdoor activity. Maybe it's playing sports or hanging out.
Eliza.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Again, like, having your support system and everything and making sure, like, that you never feel alone. And I think it's a hard thing to not feel when you're going through this, but I think to know that you have so many people that, like, always are caring for you and that, like, care about what you're going through and everything. And I think also being vulnerable, like, I think also being curious and being able to ask questions, because I remember when I was littler and my dad was, like, going through treatment and stuff, a lot of times I didn't know, like, what was happening, and I was. I didn't know what this meant or what chemo was or what radiation was. And I think being able to ask those hard questions to my mom or to people at Pickles or to my siblings or, like, I think being able to understand, really, and being a little kid especially, it was like you didn't know what was going on. And I think once you are brave enough to, like, ask those questions and be able to understand what's happening, I think it's a lot easier to feel less alone and to, like, feel a little bit more in control of a situation that obviously you can't control. But I think doing that is super important and, like, making sure that you have your people that you can always, like, count on to be there for you.
[00:23:19] Speaker C: That is so important. Yeah. And we talked about bravery earlier. Just the bravery and the courage to ask hard questions.
One of the things that we do at Pickles Group is we have what we call phone a Pickles friend, where kids in the group can actually submit questions. And always blown away by how many questions we get in week one to week three to week five. You know, kids really have big questions that when given the space to ask those hard questions, they're so eager to do so because it is helpful. Is there anything that you all that your parents or the adults in your life did that helped you know that it was safe or okay to ask those hard questions?
Yeah, go ahead, Eliza.
[00:24:02] Speaker B: I think really just normalizing it and being, like, open and, like, talking about, like, my dad's journey a lot and, like, while we were going through it, like, wasn't, like, a thing that was hidden or, like, kept away or tucked away while in my family, like, it was talked about a lot. And, like, we, like, my parents, really made it a safe space to always have a place and a time to, like, ask those questions and to feel like you're being heard and, like, to be able to be understood and stuff. And I think being really open about it, like, really made a difference, especially, like, within my family.
And I think even after my dad has passed, I think my family still talking about him a lot and honoring him has felt like a great thing, because I feel like sometimes after people pass away, it can be, like, not forgotten about, but, like, not talked about as often. And I think that it's something really important to me that, like, my dad's remembered and, like, his legacy is, like, carried on a lot. And I think my family does a really good job of, like, keeping his legacy, like, alive with our family and, like, making him a big part of our everyday life, because, like, yeah, I just. I think that's super important and being open and making it not, like, a hidden thing.
[00:25:21] Speaker C: I love that. Building that legacy, sharing those stories, honoring their life.
That's so important.
Yeah, I guess, you know, we've. We've covered a lot. I'm curious, like, as a peer leader at Pickles Group, like you all, I really have become, like, the glue to this program. And I know we're, like, just at the beginning of really unlocking what it can mean to have kids like you with other kids who are maybe just starting to go through a similar experience.
What's one thing that you really want for other kids who have a parent with cancer? Like, I know we wish, probably. I wish that it didn't exist in the first place, right? That, like, there are no kids who needed this. But unfortunately, we know that there are. So knowing that kids have. Are navigating a parent's cancer, like, what do you want them to have? What do you. What do you want for them, Molly?
[00:26:15] Speaker A: I think just the community that I have at Pickles Group is so meaningful. To me and it's become such a huge part of my life and I think that it has helped me in such a. In such a big way that I did not realize and like, realize before that I. I needed. And I think that whether, however you deal with your parents cancer journey, I think that having this outlet is so important and I. And has become so meaningful to me and I really, really want that for other people because I made some like, amazing, amazing friendships from this group and it's become so such a prominent part of my life and how I view things. And it's just. I really, really have. Sorry, I mean, to harbor this again, but the community is just such a huge part of how I've been able to navigate this journey and I really want that for other kids.
[00:27:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Does anyone else have anything they want to add to that?
Becca?
[00:27:24] Speaker D: Yeah, I think for the kids who are walking into their first meetings and don't know anyone there and a lot of times don't even want to be there, I think giving them the community, the help and the friendships that they deserve is incredibly powerful and meaningful. And I think that's one of the best parts of Pickles, which I got to experience now more as a peer leader because I would get to meet new, different kids and over the months just become like, become a lot closer with a lot of them and you know, they would start telling you more and more and more and becoming more comfortable until you guys were like. Until we were actually friends. And I think it was just great that we could help them with their journey not only through like their parents cancer, but also just giving them someone who's always going to be there for them.
[00:28:30] Speaker C: I love that. It seems like when you enter these, these doors, it's like there may be kids next to you that you wouldn't maybe have been friends with otherwise. Like, maybe you don't have, but like when it comes really and connect in any way.
[00:28:45] Speaker B: That'S huge.
[00:28:48] Speaker C: I'm guessing we haven't talked a lot about it, but then we'll. We'll start wrapping up but like outlets, right? So like, this can bring up a lot of emotions and feelings and not every kid knows how to like, let their feelings out in a helpful way.
Does anyone have advice on that? Because I think, you know, the therapist in me wants kids to have coping skills and like, I feel like kids will want coping skills so much more from other kids. So what, what thoughts do you have on like, how you've gotten your feelings out?
Patrick?
[00:29:21] Speaker E: I think communication is key.
I think that you should. Whether it's talking to, like, your mom or, like, your other parents or if it's talking to, like, members of Pickles who have experienced similar things, it's important that you share what's on your mind, because that can.
You don't want that to, like, make you feel isolated and make you feel like you're alone in this when, you know, like, your whole family's with you. Pickles is with you. You want to be open with everyone. You want to be able to.
You want to be able to.
You want to be able to get this off your. Get stuff off your mind and kind of not clear your mind, but be able to kind of resolve it. Like, able to kind of put it to rest. You want to be able to let go. You want. You don't want, like, this to be bothering you 20 years down the road.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:30:22] Speaker C: Kind of lighten your load a little bit. Not carry so much. Yeah.
That kit. Then I'll get to you. Eliza.
[00:30:29] Speaker D: Yeah, I also agree with Patrick. I think that's great thing. But something that also, for me was a great help was, like, physical activity, just going outside, shooting in my backyard, or, like, going. Playing wall ball across the school down the road.
Those are some things that, in the toughest of tough times, I would just go and do, put in my AirPods and just be with myself for a little bit. And it's crazy how much it really calms you down and brings you kind of back to earth in those moments that you just feel like nothing's real.
[00:31:17] Speaker B: And.
[00:31:17] Speaker D: Yeah, I just think that's, like, a super helpful way. At least for me it was.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: No, that's.
[00:31:23] Speaker C: That's so powerful. Like, not everyone wants to talk. And. And so much of what you said, just movement. Right. Getting in your body, moving the grief or the feelings and. And, like, getting more comfortable being with yourself in those feelings. Right. Like, you're trying to get to know yourself in a new way. So that was really helpful, I'm sure, for adults and. And kids and teens. Eliza.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: Yeah. I think I was going to say something similar to Beckett about how, like, talking about your feelings all the time is hard. And I think as, like, a little kid or, like, as a teenager, like, sometimes you don't want to do that all the time. And I think being able to find coping strategies or ways that, like, make you feel good, like, it's going to be different for every person, like, whether that's going for a run, walking your dog, listening to music, maybe doing a craft or some artwork or, like, Reading a book, who knows? There's so many different ways, and I think it's. It depends. Varies on every person. And I think finding things that make you feel good and make you, like, calm down or, like, be able to be with yourself, like, I think that's so important to be able to have those ways to, like, to really get to know yourself and have those coping strategies for yourself that, you know, like, oh, this works for me. This doesn't. Like, I like doing this. Maybe I don't like doing this. Like, I think that's really important, like, knowing yourself in those situations.
[00:32:52] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, this podcast series is called When Cancer Hits Home. And really normalizing that everyone's coping style is going to be so different, I think is so important.
Yeah. Molly, our last question is, like, is there anything else you'd want to share with someone listening? So I'd love to hear, Molly, if you want to kind of, like, wrap up. Wrap up what you're thinking.
[00:33:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I was just going to say that, like, I think anyone going through a significant touchdown in their life, there's a lot of things.
I think for me personally, my mindset was so focused, some of the negative. And I think Pickles has really helped me focus on the positive. I started when my dad was in, like, the heat of his treatment. I would start creating little things, like, look forward to, like, whether it's a Snickers bar at the end of the day or a really good lunch they packed for school or going for a run, or, like, those things really have helped me just, like, looking forward to something even little, that just gets me excited and, like, gets me through the day and, like, something to focus on. Because I think I'm such a big overthinker. I think a lot of people are that, like, I just sort of internalize everything and finding good coping skills for yourself or little things to look forward to that, like, make this experience, although so negative, kind of shape you in a positive way, I think has been so helpful for me. And I think I've seen it a lot in my siblings, especially since I'm with them all the time. I can. I see them, like, with their own coing skills and, like, it's just. I think it's a really powerful thing to see everyone else in their individual experiences doing something, having a shared experience with individual experiences within that.
[00:34:34] Speaker C: Yeah, those are life skills. Right? Like. Like, learning how to navigate hard times is helpful in life, even though we wish we didn't have to learn it this way.
Eliza, a final kind of Takeaway. Something you'd want to share with someone.
[00:34:48] Speaker B: Yes. I just want to say one more thing about. I think it's so important finding hope in the little things. Throughout, like, throughout my dad's cancer journey, I think sometimes I was. I would get really sad, like, oh, he's in a wheelchair like this. This is really hard. But I think me and my siblings, my family, being able to find joy and be grateful for little things, like, oh, well, he can still talk to us right now. And, oh, I still had this really great conversation with my dad. Oh, I made this great memory with him. Like, I think having hope and, like, finding joy and all the little things really, really counts to make a difference. Like, rather than focusing on the negatives, like, focusing on the positives. And I feel like that helps you throughout your whole journey and throughout also after your parent may have died. I think looking back and seeing all those great memories you made and all the amazing times you've had, like, that really makes a difference, like, focusing on the positives.
[00:35:47] Speaker C: Yeah. You guys are so inspiring.
Just being able to help others hold the hard feelings and. And expand hope is like, a really advanced skill, as you should all give yourselves a pat on the back. I feel like just being able to understand how hopefully changes, and I know that's something that we're working into. The. The new pickles jar curriculum is really helping. Helping kids in our program think about how hope evolves and changes, and it's definitely been inspired by the oldest of the Smith family. You know, Finn's speech around hope, it's. It's a big part of.
Of pickles group, so thanks for sharing that. Okay. We could talk forever. I love hearing from you guys, and you have so much to share and give, so thank you. Thank you for sharing the stories of your parents, your families, those who are with us, those who are not with us, and your growth. For other people who are navigating this.
Before we wrap up, it's an epic experiences podcast classic to hear from everybody. Marshmallows over a campfire. Slow and steady or flame and crispy. So, Molly, you talked about your. Your.
Your Colorado trip, so let's start with you. How do you like your marshmallows on a campfire?
[00:37:07] Speaker A: I feel like this is an unpopular opinion, but I'm sort of impatient, and I just stick it in and burn it, and I kind of like the crispy black flavor.
[00:37:17] Speaker C: Love that. Yeah, you do you, Beckett, how about you?
[00:37:25] Speaker D: I'm with Molly on this one. I, you know, gotta put it in the Fire for a little bit, let the inside get gooey, and then you just burn. Just burn it nice how it's always been done.
[00:37:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:40] Speaker C: You're smiling. I'm eager to hear your.
[00:37:42] Speaker E: I think they're nuts.
I think what you have to do is it's like an experience. You have to slowly put it over the fire and let it become golden.
You can't just rush it.
That's how you get the best more.
[00:37:57] Speaker C: But it's so disappointing when you're going for that and then it burns anyways. But it sounds like you've got some. Some techniques. Eliza, last but not least, how do you like your marshmallows?
[00:38:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing as Patrick, I think. Golden brown, slow and steady. Like, you gotta get it the perfect crisp and. Yeah.
[00:38:16] Speaker C: Nice. All right, so we're. We're 2 and 2, and I'm, like, mixed. I like, like the idea of a golden marshmallow, but I feel like half the time I'm burning it, so then I'm just, like, settling for the burnt marshmallow. But more than anything, I think it's the melted chocolate for me. But. Yeah. Anyways, well, thank you so much to all of you, and on behalf of Epic Experience and Pickles Group, we're just so grateful to have all of our listeners listening to When Cancer Hits home and hearing directly from our kids and teens. So thanks so much.
[00:38:53] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to this episode of Campfires of Living Beyond Cancer. For more information about Epic Experience and our programs, or to donate, please visit our
[email protected] Music for this podcast is provided by Moonshiner Collective. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us so we can share our story with more people. Also, be sure to subscribe wherever you get podcasts so you'll know when new episodes are released. We hope you come back and join us for our next episode.
[00:39:26] Speaker C: America.
