The Home Stretch

[00:00:08] Speaker A: My name is Nancy Farrow, also known as Mama Lou, and I'm the founder of Epic Experience. Epic experience mission is to empower adult cancer survivors and thrivers to live beyond cancer. I hope that as you in the campfires of hope, living beyond cancer, you find hope, healing and empowerment. Through stories and education, we aim to guide those impacted by cancer and more importantly, offer love and support to anyone out there who needs it. This is beyond cancer. [00:01:06] Speaker B: Hello, everyone. This is Gail, aka sunshine, bringing you another campfire chat today. We have Denny Williams, aka Stretch. And Denny attended a camp just a few weeks ago, so this is fresh in his mind. So, Denny, thank you so much for joining us today. [00:01:23] Speaker C: Absolutely. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure. [00:01:25] Speaker B: So we're going to start just by having you tell us a little bit about yourself, where you're from, your family, and please include one fun fact. [00:01:34] Speaker C: You got it. Well, yeah, so I'm currently 44 years old, born and raised in Louisville, Kentucky. And yes, that's how you say it. It's not Louisville. It's not Louisville. You just kind of mumble it and it rolls off your tongue. So, Louisville, Kentucky, live on the outskirts right now. Just a neighboring county, Bullet county, from Jefferson county, where Louisville is located, but been married for 20 years now to my beautiful bride. We just celebrated our 20th year on March 1. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Congratulations. [00:02:05] Speaker C: Thank you. Big milestone there. Obviously the best caregiver one could ask for. And then we have two boys together. We have a 16 year old sophomore and a 13 year old 7th grader. And I know we're here to talk about cancer, but if you've ever taught a 16 year old how to drive, it's much more scary than any cancer diagnosis ever. I promise you that. We're in the process of going through those milestones in our life right now, but currently work as a athletic director for all boys catholic high school, nine through twelve. We have 19 sports, so it keeps me pretty busy, especially during the spring. And then fun fact, so here goes. Nickname Stretch, right? I am six foot eight and played college baseball for the University of Louisville. Actually, stretch was a nickname back in high school as well. [00:03:05] Speaker B: I did not know that. So what position did you play? [00:03:10] Speaker C: Yeah, I was a pitcher. [00:03:11] Speaker B: What was your go to pitch? The one that skunked them all. [00:03:15] Speaker C: That got them all right. Well, I was fastball, curveball, change up. But obviously given my height, it was a little advantage, I will say for sure. But yeah, somebody go to is obviously curveball, just like everybody else. [00:03:29] Speaker B: Awesome. Well, I am a huge baseball fan, so that's very fun fact for me. I love it. [00:03:34] Speaker C: Perfect. [00:03:35] Speaker B: So let's move into your diagnosis, your story, and again, however much detail you want to give us, but in terms of symptoms you were having, how it ultimately got diagnosed, and then kind of the treatment plan and surgery that went along with that, of course. [00:03:52] Speaker C: Yeah. Looking back, you remember it plan as day, right? [00:03:56] Speaker B: Of course. [00:03:57] Speaker C: Unfortunately, we were in the process of our life, too, that when this was going on, we were building a house. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Oh, gosh. [00:04:04] Speaker C: Yeah. We were staying with my parents at the time, and I remembered it was back in summer of 21. I was sitting there on the couch, and I felt this pain in the top of my abdomen and thought, oh, that's kind of weird. I didn't know what that was. And this chalked up to indigestion or something of that nature. Well, a few weeks went by, and it was still there, and it was getting a little more strenuous, I guess. And so I thought, might as well go see a doctor. And I went to my primary care, and he poked around and checked me out and said, oh, you probably pulled a muscle. You are in your. I'm out coaching my kids. And at the time, I was heavy in the gym, lifting weights and trying to stay in shape. So we chalked it up to just a pulled muscle, and I said, okay, that's fine, and let it go for a little while longer, and it just wouldn't go away. So about a month later, I called him back and told him that, and he said, we'll come back in, we'll do an ultrasound. We'll look around, see if we can find anything. So did that ultrasound came back completely positive, clean, nothing. So again, we went on our merry way, and three, four weeks later, it's still there. And so I call him back, and I was like, man, this is not going away. It's been probably six, seven, eight weeks now. [00:05:25] Speaker B: Wow. [00:05:26] Speaker C: And he said, well, maybe we do. Maybe we send you into a GI doctor, and they'll probably end up doing a scope, checking you out and see what's going on. And obviously, I'd done a few colonoscopies already, and I was due for another one, so it all made sense. So at that point, went to see the GI doctor, and the meeting didn't take five minutes. We went through symptoms I was having. She asked me a few questions. No red flags at the time. And so ultimately, we did decide to do a scope. But another kicker in all this was it was in the middle of COVID and let's see, this was October of 21, and they told me the next available appointment was march of 20. [00:06:09] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:06:10] Speaker C: Yeah. So I was going to wait five months to have this scope done. Obviously, I agreed to it. Sure. You do what you got to do, right? So I said, that's fine. Well, things changed in between Thanksgiving and Christmas of 21. The symptoms really started to pour on. I was having issues swallowing food. I started to regurgitate everything that I ate. And so at that point, I knew, okay, maybe something's not right. I talked to many people, and they talked about having your esophagus dilated sometimes. That's maybe why I was having issues. But it just didn't make sense. And it really started to scare me at that point. And if it weren't for my wife and my parents and my mother in law, they said, you really need to call and try and get in a little sooner if you can. And I don't know what made me do it, honestly. I didn't even call. I emailed them, of all things, and just said, hey, I'm having issues. Now I am regurgitating food, that kind of thing. Can I get in quicker than March? Luckily, they called me back, had a cancellation. In January 22. I went in for my colonoscopy and the gioscope, and I remember waking up from the scope. I remember seeing the doctor and my wife were talking. He had a page of notes, he had taken some pictures, and sure enough, they found something. And at the time, he said, it was a tear in my esophagus. And we both looked at each other like, well, that's weird. How in the world do you get a tear in your esophagus? But immediately right after that, they sent me to get a ct scan done. So everything's going through your head at that point. And I'm like, wow, this could be serious. And they said, you'll have the results in the morning. Well, as I said, I'm an athletic director. And so, January 5 of 22, I got that dreaded phone call. GI doctor called me and said, we think it's cancer. It's esophageal cancer. It's adenocarcinoma, which is obviously the more aggressive type. He said, we need to get moving. And when you hear those words, your stomach drops. Stomach drops. I didn't hear another word he said on the phone. Only thing I can think about was getting home, seeing my family. It was rough, it was tough, and obviously, when you're at work, I didn't tell anybody. I just got in the car and left. So got home. Yeah. The results came back. They called me the very next day and said, yes, that's positive for cancer. We need to move. I believe it was that following week, I had appointments with oncologists, radiologists and surgeon. The following Monday, they had me in to get my port, put in, rest up for three, four, five days, and then I had my first treatments. So I had 28 radiation treatments, had five rounds of chemo, all at the same time. [00:09:13] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:09:14] Speaker C: Yeah. So, went on for roughly six weeks. But good news is, obviously the treatments worked. Tumor was gone. It was completely gone at the scan. So at that point, it was time to rest up and get ready for surgery. So may of 22, I had a full esophagectomy, which basically removes your esophagus. And they took the top third of my stomach as well. [00:09:40] Speaker B: Wow. [00:09:40] Speaker C: The tumor started to creep into my stomach. So, yeah, I got put back together, so to speak. But again, after surgery, pathology reports came back completely negative. They got everything that they had hoped for and they considered me Ned at the time, so I didn't have to go through immunotherapy or anything like that after surgery. So here we are today. I've gone through one scan already and I've got my first six month scan this coming Monday on the 27th. Yeah, we're praying and hoping that everything is clean, but, yeah, that's kind of my story. And ten months, Ned, as we stand here today. And awesome, hoping that the worst is behind us. [00:10:25] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. Now, having two sons, both teenagers at the time, or at least almost teenager for the younger one. How did you and your wife go. [00:10:35] Speaker C: About telling them, sunshine is the most difficult thing I've ever done. I bet at that age you can't hide anything, right? They're old enough to know something's wrong. And as soon as I got home, my wife and I kind of went off in the side room and talked about it. I told her I wanted to tell them right away. We didn't know any more than they would have known when I told them. So we just brought them in, sat them down, and I told him, dad had cancer, but not to worry, that I'm going to fight this with everything I've got. But I thought it was important for them to know right off the bat what was going on and not try to hide anything, because ultimately they would find out. They're smart, they know, they're resilient. They're going to figure it out. Yeah, it was a rough day, for sure. [00:11:32] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sure now what? They're two years apart or three years apart? [00:11:36] Speaker C: About two and a half. [00:11:37] Speaker B: About two and a half. Did they respond differently? And obviously they have different personalities and all of that. Was there a significant difference in how they responded? [00:11:46] Speaker C: I think they were in complete shock as well, hearing the news. So the reactions were pretty much the same. They were quiet, they didn't say much. My wife and I tried to drag some things out of them, but they weren't ready to talk about it or to even consider what may or may not happen. It wasn't until later on that we heard from our youngest dean. We found out that he had a breakdown in school just when he was away from us with his friends. And then, of all things, my sophomore in high school, they were doing research on cancer when I was going through my treatment. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. [00:12:30] Speaker C: So it was a little rough on him just talking about it through school. There's a few rough patches in there that we had to get through, but I'm so proud of them. They did awesome. [00:12:46] Speaker B: That's awesome. [00:12:51] Speaker C: Sit here and think about it. Could you imagine it? They were twelve and 15, just hearing from a parent that they had cancer. And my son told me that he would lay in bed, my oldest one, he would lay in bed and wonder if I would be alive in the morning. That's tough news to take from. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's heartbreaking. [00:13:15] Speaker C: And I couldn't imagine thinking that at 15 years old. [00:13:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Wow. So how did you hear about epic experience? Well, so you would have finished in May, right? So you just went. So it was, what, nine months after? [00:13:29] Speaker C: Exactly. Exactly. I sort of cheated. I met Simi Amanda Blackburn, who's on the board through a mutual friend. So when we first met, the first thing out of her mouth was, you have to go to a camp at epic experience. And I said, ok, what is that? Sure, I'll go. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:13:49] Speaker C: Yeah. So she kind of put me on to it and so glad that she, um. Cause I tell you, words can't explain it, but it really, truly is an epic experience. Yes. [00:14:02] Speaker B: Full disclosure here. I happened to volunteer at the camp that stretch went to, so I was part of the experience and it was a great group of drivers that were there. [00:14:11] Speaker C: It was, it was perfect. [00:14:13] Speaker B: So had you done any support groups before then, or was this kind of your first foray into any kind of support? [00:14:19] Speaker C: It was the first one. We did a regional meetup, Simi and I, we did a regional meetup. So that was kind of my first experience with epic, getting into know, we do have a little support group at our church that we go, you know, about three or four of us that we did on a regular basis and then all kind of the support groups online. I started to be a volunteer with friend for life, which is a local program here, too, that kind of pairs you with similar cancer diagnosis and treatments and things. And so I'm able to volunteer there and have mentored two or three people so far of that aspect. But as far as the in person and getting away, epic has been the first one. [00:15:06] Speaker B: That was the first. So before you came. Now, I know you did talk to Sammy probably, but what expectations did you have before you? [00:15:16] Speaker C: You know, she was so passionate about it, and at first I was just kind of going along with it because she was into it so deep. I was like, okay, well, I'll do it too. Why not? And you think of camps like that and you wonder, yeah, you're getting away into a different state. Getting away kind of out in the middle of nowhere. But I really thought it was just going to be sit down, have a few talks here and there. Kind of like a summer camp you would go to as a kid. Yeah, there'd be some activities to do, but it was just more of a way to little vacation, get away and be away from it all. That was kind of my expectations going into it. [00:16:03] Speaker B: And where were you mentally, physically, emotionally before you came to camp? [00:16:10] Speaker C: Honestly, all over the board. I've been mad, angry, sad, happy, every feeling you can think of. I've been there. But for cancer patients at this point in my journey, it's the hurry up and wait, right? During your treatments, you have doctors appointments and labs and there's a schedule for you. And I mean, goodness. Again, for almost two months, I saw a doctor or a nurse or somebody every single day. So I had that security and then thankfully, treatments worked and I had surgery and I'm clear. But then they send you back home and you're off to yourself and you don't have that security anymore. [00:17:00] Speaker B: You have time to think. [00:17:01] Speaker C: You have time to think and you have time to worry and anxiety. The scanxiety kicks in. [00:17:08] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:17:09] Speaker C: I've got that huge this week for my upcoming scan. And then you do get involved in groups like this or you talk to people. And unfortunately, there's a lot of lives that are lost. And so survivor's guilt is a real thing as well that I've dealt with, just getting to know people on my journey. But it's a tough thing to explain and I don't think your family or even your closest friends will understand unless you've been there before. And that's why I was so thankful to go to epic. Because you're in a group of people that every word that comes out of your mouth or that you hear, everybody just shakes their head and is like, yes, exactly. I know exactly where you've been and know what you're talking about. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Exactly. So going into camp, you kind of thought it was going to be summer camp ish and all over the board, mentally, emotionally, what did you find once you were there, in terms of your overall experience and what you took away from the camp? [00:18:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Besides my addiction to rummy cube now, which is real. [00:18:15] Speaker B: It's a real thing. [00:18:16] Speaker C: And I almost bought a hammerhead pro sled because we are now the hill sled champions completing the 180s. [00:18:29] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:18:29] Speaker C: Yes. [00:18:30] Speaker B: We did it. [00:18:31] Speaker C: We did it. Like I said, it's truly hard to explain, but my outlook did change. Right. Going through this whole process, you have to put trust into a lot of people that you don't know and really to help save your life, which is powerful worlds to say in itself. And what I took away from camp was how ten strangers from all over the country can come together and within hours, minutes, whatever you want to call it, pretend and talk to each other like you've known them for 15 years. And I think my outlook on people changed a little bit. [00:19:17] Speaker B: How so? [00:19:20] Speaker C: Early on, as I mentioned, I had quite a lot of anger. I couldn't understand why this happened to me. And then, unfairly, I would kind of just be a little too judgmental on people, I guess, if you can say. And my wife actually had to stop me one day and was like, you can't put that on people. Right. And looking back, I agree. My worst enemy, I still wouldn't wish cancer upon them. Right. And you have to take that into consideration of what you're going through. And you'll never understand or you'll never figure out the why. It's just not in our makeup. But what you can do with it is learn from it, which I've done a great deal. I've learned more about my diagnosis than ever before, and I think it goes back to just living in the day. Right. I don't take things as serious as maybe as I used to. I'm a little more free, if that makes sense. And I think camp helped me with that. We didn't know the schedule. We just show up, and wherever we went, we did it. [00:20:37] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:20:37] Speaker C: And up on the ranch, it helped me disconnect from work, from technology, and it was a big relief, honestly. Sit down and just have one on one conversations and group conversations with people. It really does something for the soul. [00:20:57] Speaker B: And now you're back. This is your second week back, or is this your third week? [00:21:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:03] Speaker B: How have you taken kind of that mentality now that you have to be back in technology? Right. And you have to be back in work? How have you kind of taken that back with you? [00:21:13] Speaker C: Well, yeah, obviously my cell phone, it never stops ringing. [00:21:16] Speaker B: Right. [00:21:17] Speaker C: Like I said, this spring it's as busy as ever. And just to give you an example, we've got games and matches full a week, and it's supposed to rain from now till Saturday. Everything's going to change, schedules are going to change, everything's going to get messed up, and we're going to have to sit back here and try to handle it and deal with it. So unfortunately, I can't eliminate that from my life forever. [00:21:44] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:21:45] Speaker C: It's just part of the job for sure. But at the end of the day, you just make it work and do its best. Right. I've got a lot of people relying on me to lead them in the right direction. And it's okay if things don't get done, it's okay to ask for help. Before, I wasn't very good at that. I just wanted to do it myself because I know it'd get done. I know it'd get done right. And now I kind of sit back and I let some of the coaches handle their own situations. Even though they come to me, I'll let them deal with it. And then I just got to kind of relate and sit back. And this place wasn't built because I got here. [00:22:29] Speaker B: Right. [00:22:30] Speaker C: It's got a long tradition, and so sometimes I got to sit back and just let that tradition happen. [00:22:35] Speaker B: Yeah. And when you're really stressed, you can just play rummy cube and it'll make everything better. [00:22:40] Speaker C: That's right. As I was waiting to get on here, I played two games already. [00:22:44] Speaker B: There you go. See? So I'm wondering if there's anything that I haven't asked you that you would like to share with someone listening, whether it is someone who's recently diagnosed caregiver, anyone who might be struggling a little to live beyond cancer. [00:23:02] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think the big thing, and I've touched on it a little bit, but the mental health side of a cancer diagnosis is huge, and I don't think that it's talked about enough. Obviously, being a male. Right. We kind of have that toughness about us, that maybe a lot of guys aren't reaching out, asking for that help. So I'm here to say, guys, if you're one of those people, reach out your hand, ask for help. There are some great folks out there willing and able to reach out and help you. I've made it kind of my personal mission now. That's maybe why I'm still here. At least that's why I think that I'm still here. Because I have a new mission. It's my time to pay it forward. So if there is anybody out there that's listening or knows of esophageal cancer patient diagnosis, I am here. Please get in touch with me. I'm able to help whenever I can. But not only for the patient. It's for the families, for your kids, for your caregiver. They're going through just as much pain worry as maybe the patient is, too. And there's programs for those folks as well to reach out and get support. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't sit back. Just reach out and ask for help. Somebody will be there to pick you. [00:24:28] Speaker B: Excellent, excellent advice. Well, the all important question now that I always end with marshmallows over a campfire, slow and steady or flame and crispy. [00:24:39] Speaker C: Well, this is a tough, you know, being in Kentucky, we do have a lot of bonfires at night during the seasons, but ultimately, I think it's flame and crispy. It's all about a texture, right? [00:24:52] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:24:53] Speaker C: I'm kind of a big guy and I love to eat when I could. And if anybody knows me, a plate of food, it was gone in no time. So I think the faster I can get it crispy, the faster I get to eat it. So I'm going flaming crispy. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Completely makes sense. Well, Denny, thank you so much. It has been an absolute pleasure to see you again, to hear your story and to everyone listening. Until the next time we gather around the campfire, keep living beyond cancer. [00:25:26] Speaker C: Very good. Thank you, sunshine. Good seeing you. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to this episode of Campfires of Hope. Living beyond cancer. For more information about epic experience and our programs or to donate, please visit our [email protected] music for this podcast is provided by Moonshiner Collective. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us so we can share our story with more people. Also, be sure to subscribe wherever you get podcasts so you'll know when new episodes are released. We hope you come back and join us for our next episode. Valentine dance through the night police still on our family women's bride and woe we will rise once again close.